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Forum:The Pyro Trinity- Cybeon, Axelia, and Scythoid
Hello, this is Pyrostar and I am attempting my first pitch. I had already made the page for one of my civilizations, so sorry about that. Anyway, I would like to pitch a trio of races I nicknamed "The Pyro Trinity". The trinity part is because all the civilizations' backstories are linked. The Axelia The Axelia were a small, avian race which originally lived on a large tropical planet nearby a Class G star on the outskirts of Omni 1. The Axelia had beaks, but had unfortunatly evolved away their wings, leaving only small tufts of feathers. Axelian fingers, descended from bird talons, were extremely adept at manipulating things, and they also had highly evolved brains, meaning they were perfectly suited for making technology. As such, the main Axelia export was either appliances or weapons- the latter of which they exceled (or Axeled :)) at. The Axelia disbelived the theory of the Titans, as they disbelived the fact that any mere mortal creature could match up to a machine. To prove this, they attempted to use one of their own devices to slay a Titan. When the attempt inevitably failed (as Titans are god-like forces and cannot be killed by ANY means), the Axelia grew angry, and began onslaughting any race that the Titans protected, as they were the next best thing. The Axelia put their skills to use during this war, and took advanced technology to the next level. They single-handedly created an entire race on their own- a race of synthetic creatures they dubbed the Cybeon. While the Cybeon were made to serve the Axelia, they were not merely mindless slaves and managed to create a civilization that nearly rivaled the Axelia's. The war continued, until the Titans decided that too much blood had been shed, and they wiped out all the Axelia in the galaxy. Why else would I be talking in past tense- the Axelia are an extinct species. Well, that's Part 1 of thw Trinity. Tell me what you think, and Part 2 will come soon! Pyrostar (talk) 22:43, February 6, 2013 (UTC) The Cybeon While the Axelia were wiped out, the Cybeon survived the obileration of their allies' race and planet. they eventually settled on a large asteroid, which they dubbed L3-3T-PL-NT(fun fact: L3-3T-PL-NT has NO gravitational field, instead, it has a magnetic field about the strengh of 1.2G that keeps the Cybeon on stable ground). Being built to protect the Axelia, they felt it was required to get revenge by continuing what the Axelia had started- death to any races protected by the Harbringers and the Titans. However, soon after starting a war with a nearby planet, they soon realized that they were hopelessly outnumbered. Being robots, the Cybeon couldn't reproduce naturally and were at a massive disadvantage. Their greatest minds (or processors) decided to rebuild the factories that had once created them, and use the iron inside enemy planets to fuel them. So, the Cybeon grew a unique approach to war- they literally had to fight to live. The Cybeon themsevles are humanoid cybernetic creatues with some insectoid features- multiple-jointed legs, compound eyes, occasionly synthetic wings. However, their basic shapes differ in many ways. All Cybeon creations are given a brain similar to the ones they use, essentially making sentient spaceships and war vehicles. Even the basic humanoid Cybeon vary in many ways, some being over 70 feet tall, and others possessing mole-like claws for trench warfare. Most Cybeon also have bulit-in weapons, meaning that they are quite literally built for war. Part 2 of the Trinity complete! Next up, Part 3! Pyrostar (talk) 01:00, February 8, 2013 (UTC) The Scythoids While searching the galaxy for anything they could use for fuel, a group of Cybeon scouts discovered a small volcanic planet. Searching the planet, they found a race of creatures inhabiting it. Bringing in the main mothership, they dubbed the new race the Scythoid race. The Cybeon then began raising the tribal race into a full-blown civilization, which in return would ally with them. The Scythoids became a fearsome race, though not as war-crazed as the Axelia grew to be. Scythoids are large, bulky silicon-based golem-like lifeforms. It is common for them to grow colorful crystals on their back, and their tribal culture is based around it: larger or more colorful crystals give a Scythoid a higher caste in society. They highly respect the Cybeon, and as a result, respect technology. Scythoids are also very good buisnessmen, having a bartering system in place of a monetary system. Therefore, they use their talents to assist the Cybeon by selling things and building up a supply of money. All Done! Pyrostar (talk) 00:23, February 15, 2013 (UTC) Comments The most noticeable thing that I feel should be changed for lore purposes is what the Titans did to them. The Titan King created a pact that prevented Titans from directly meddling with mortals, and the only ones that are allowed to do so are the galaxy Titans. If the Axelia were wiped out by say, the Harbingers, it would make a lot more sense and wouldn't contradict any established lore. Perhaps the Axelia claimed to have found a way to slay the Harbingers forever which was one of the reasons for their downfall. Other than that, I don't see any other major inconsistencies. I'll give you the rest of my feedback once you upload the rest. Krayfish (talk) 23:11, February 6, 2013 (UTC) OK, I'll change it to the Harbringers. Pyrostar (talk) 00:03, February 8, 2013 (UTC) Since you requested I post what I think here, I shall do so. In the future, I will only give feedback and reviews twice for a particular work, but as this is your first time here, I will be a little bit lenient. Anyway, there's a few possible alternatives to their motivations purely out of logical choice. If it's iron they are after, it is possible for the Cybeon to avoid conflict entirely. Uninhabited worlds like Mercury are literally spheres made of iron up for grabs by anyone as they are found in generous amounts all over the galaxy. Heck, there's even planets that have a kilometer thick layer of diamond in them. It is a far more efficient to mine unclaimed worlds rather than invade the enemy. Basically, when it comes to wars, the primary value in resources is their location. (i.e. How easy is it to mine? Is it located somewhere dangerous?) There are many places to choose from, but the best ones are the most efficient to grab from. It saves a lot of resources to avoid war when possible, and the only reason for actually invading another colony is if all other alternatives are exhausted. Also, most certainly, not all Cybeon individuals will be built for war. You would need a great proportion of nonviolent individuals or ships who would instead be devoted to tasks such as mining even if they aren't sentient. Of course, it's okay to give them rudimentary defense turrets, but most of their processing power would be dedicated to their mining task while sentry drones would be tasked with protection. So in the end, if they lived a life of constant war, then they must be after something else besides iron that is unique to other civilizations.Krayfish (talk) 02:00, February 8, 2013 (UTC) There's the concept of MULTITASKING. Most Cybeon use their talents for war and then whatever else they can do. For example, the mole-bot trench warfare soldiers actually do mining stuff too. The Cybeon have sentient space-frieghters that can transport troops and shipments. Let's also not forget that it was all started over revenge. The Cybeon want to destroy most other races due to the death of the Axelia. Pyrostar (talk) 21:13, February 8, 2013 (UTC) Let's also not forget that many of our other concerns remain unsatisfied. "How do you say it? Jagdpanther? Yagdpanther? I'll just call it Steve." - SupcommMonroee (talk) 22:48, February 8, 2013 (UTC) I am well-aware of the concept of multitasking. It is nice to have, but its far better to have more specialized roles for each individual. In other words, a class system or hierarchy. Judging from what you described, they don't seem to have a collective intelligence, so that would mean that every Cybeon would be a sentient individual. Because they are completely synthetic, producing them in masse is highly inefficient purely because you have to cram a supercomputer the size of a football in every single one. If they had some sort of server or collective conscious, they could coordinate their attacks even better, and it's an advantage that organics do not have. Also, I'm not saying the Cybeon can't have war. War is something inevitable for them of course. However, every space faring civilization needs to know how to pick their battles or else they will get overwhelmed and driven to extinction. It would be smart for them to only attack those who might encroach on their territory or to attack if there's a unique resource the enemy has that they do not. Krayfish (talk) 23:33, February 8, 2013 (UTC) Verdict Due to a lack of response, we assume you are no longer interested in this wiki. All pitches related to this concept will be denied. Category:Denied pitches